stir crazy

[xela]

Two weeks in the not-a-cast today, and I'm going batty. It's ostensibly a walking cast, but when I walk in it, I sometimes feel the weird sensation that got me to the doctor in the first place, which is apparently my achilles tendon abrading the sheath around it. Since the idea is to make that go away, I'm reluctant to walk more than absolutely necessary. I got out of the house for New Years, but took cabs or got rides almost everywhere.

I find the fact that I feel that sensation even with the severely limited motion my ankle can make within the cast really worrying. I've felt better the past few months than any time in years, and I'm terrified of losing my mobility now I've just begun to enjoy it.

On top of that, I'm sure I've gained weight the past couple of weeks. Eating is my response to stress, and with no exercise to burn it off, I'm sure I'm backsliding. But I can't get an accurate weight in the cast so I don't know how badly.

Wednesday I couldn't even be bothered to write down what I ate, which I've done religiously since June, even when I slipped and ate crap. Then to top it off I snapped at a friend in email. I don't do that. My father always took out his frustrations on the people around him. I don't.

---

I'm going to start trying to journal every day, even if it's just stupid angsty shit like this. I tend not to journal when I'm down; not journaling leaves me more socially isolated, which leaves me feeling even more down. So what the hell, I'll try writing even when I feel like crap and see if it helps.

Comments

[klingonlandlady.livejournal.com]

sorry you're having such a tough time! that sounds pretty frustrating.

While it's not the same as walking, could you manage to do non-leg exercises, like lifting weights with arms, or tummy crunches? I've been working on keeping up other body parts exercises while my shoulder heals, it's difficult to do, but helps.

[yakshaver.livejournal.com]

I'm doing some dumbells: curls; stuff I can do sitting. But of course that's not aerobic. I initially thought I'd be able to do my rowing erg one-legged, with the other leg resting on the floor. But I decided the secondary strain on the ankle from all the knee flexing, plus the risk of injury from such an assymetrical load on my spine, made it a poor plan

[rhean.livejournal.com]

Leg injuries suck! *empathy*

[yakshaver.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[cfox.livejournal.com]

So have you threaded up your sewing machine yet?

[yakshaver.livejournal.com]

Yeah, though I haven't done anything with it.

[nuclearpolymer.livejournal.com]

The tendon sensation must be really alarming...

[yakshaver.livejournal.com]

It is, hands down, the weirdest thing I've ever felt.

[bluedaisy.livejournal.com]

You totally have my sympathy---leg injuries are no fun. I hope your foot is better soon. My prayers and well-wishes are with you.

[yakshaver.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[sammason.livejournal.com]

How about making a calendar or something where you can cross off, or rip to shreds, one symbolic item each day until there are no days left and the not-cast comes off? Like an Advent calendar.

Gaining weight is always a bit irritating (unless underweight, I suppose! I haven't been underweight since I was 3) but you know the precise reasons for gaining in these few weeks and by the sound of your posts, you know the precise actions that you can and will do to get your weight back down as soon as you're fully mobile again.

[yakshaver.livejournal.com]

Part of the problem is that I'm beginning to dread that it will come off and the problem will be unabated.